Doggie Dictionary
(Author Unknown)
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| LEASH | A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. |
| DOG BED | Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room. |
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| DROOL | A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get the drool on the human. |
| SNIFF | A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards. |
| GARBAGE CAN | A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. |
| BICYCLES | Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. |
| DEAFNESS | This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. |
| THUNDER | This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. |
| WASTEBASKET | This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home. |
| BATH | If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture. |
| LEAN | Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events. |
| BUMP | The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. |
| GOOSE BUMP | A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular Bump doesn't get the attention your require....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above. |
| CHILDREN | Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on. |
| LOVE | A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return. |
| Not only does the Dog Pack™ Store carry hard to find items, but we also make every effort to insure our prices are lower than the superstores on commonly carried items.
For a price comparison of some products that both we and the superstores carry, see below. These prices were accurate as of November15, 2002. We have not found any other store offering Flexi Retractable Leashes at a price lower than ours. We also check our book prices against Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com to insure fair pricing.
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| Item | Dog Price Price | PetSmart.com Price | Amazon.com Price |
| Classic Flexi Rectractable Leash (16') (Medium Dog) |
$12.49 |
$15.99 |
NA |
| ZoobeeZ jungle print big bouncing balls |
$3.50 |
$6.99 |
NA |
| Deluxe Plush Rat with squeak, rattle, and grunt noises |
$7.99 |
$9.99 |
NA |
| Book: How to SpeakDog, Mastering the Art of Animal/Human Communication |
$9.49 |
NA |
$11.20 |
| The Nature of Animal Healing |
$10.99 |
NA |
$11.20 |
| Pets Living With Cancer |
$13.95 |
NA |
$13.97 |
| The Pill Book Guide to Medication for Your Dog and Cat |
$4.99 |
NA |
$6.99 |
